Super Smash Bros Melee: Chaos
by Chibi Authoress Beamie
Summary: [Yes. I suck at titles.] What happens when you combine one Half Demon Authoress, her clone, and 26 smashers all in the same building? The answer: Chaos, Chibiness, and a buncha cucco birds. [I suck at summaries too.] first comedy. kinda. Rated for safety.
1. Chapter 1: HYPERNESS! YAAAY!

Hiya. I'm Nika the Chibi Demon Authoress. Or just Nika. Your choice. Anywaysss.. Yeah.. This was TECHNICALLY s'posed to be the _third_ in a series of SSBM-related comedies, but.. :sigh:

Some-person-in-a-shadowy-black-Power-Suit: Her first in the series got pulled off because she didn't know you weren't s'posed to have little contests for people to guess who the culprit of a mystery was, then when she tried to re-do it she got stuck and ran out of ideas, her second she ran out of ideas for again and decided she hated the whole idea anyway, and this is the only one she can get ideas for and actually do more than 2 chapters in BECAUSE IT IS TOTALLY NUTSO! AND SO IS SHE! -.-;

**Me**: Oh shush, Shadow. I saw someone else make a little contest like that successfully so I naturally thought it was okay. ;-; Oh yeah. This's Shadow. My mini-muse.

Shadow: HEY! I'M NOT MINI! ;-; and I'm not a muse!

**Me**: Technically anything that I talk to pre-chapter is a muse. So there.

Shadow: ;-; meanie.

**Me**: anyways, time for me to torture you with, ahem, drum roll please..

Red-and-blue-and-yellow robotic figure::very bad drum roll:

Oo;; Takua, get off my set. I swear you're better at the guitar. :winces at the memory of two very high-quality speakers being broken by _that_ incident involving guitars, not to mention the resulting epidemic of temporary deafness: ANYWAYS! Where was I? Oh yeah. Torture you with... :does her own drum roll: A COMEDY! MWUAHAHAHAH- dissolves into coughing spasms and falls to floor

Shadow: Nika? Nika? NIKA! Shitari! Ack, GET THE MEDICS CALL 911 AND—oh, wait. Nika. :pokes me with toe of armored boot: you need to write the comedy. Stop pretending to die and get over here.

**Me:** Awwww.. Okayyy.. Hmph. You're no fun. HERE WE GO! DISCLAIMER!

:Disclaimer: Hey. D'you SERIOUSLY think I own SSBM? COME ON! I would've at least added, y'know, Young Zelda and Saria and about a bazillion other characters, and added myself into it! And maybe an optional storyline! And a SSBM: 2! So, therefore, I have to be content by raiding Nintendo HQ to attempt to get the copyright and end up being caught and thrown back home by living coke cans:

Shadow: T.T No more coke for _you_.

**Me**: Awwwwwwwww.. CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS THEN STORY:

Nika:

Name: Nika Jenna O'Brian. (No that is not my real real-life name, TOO BAD. :giggle:)

Age: Around 16 or so.

Appearance: Long blonde hair, Cyan or Green highlights (depends, Nika switches the highlights color every so often just for fun), blue-rimmed glasses, constantly carries around a pencil and notepad.

Personality: Well.. She's me! The author! Uhm, right, personality whatchamajigger.. Well, I can get **_sort_** of hyper sometimes.. I HATE MY GLASSES TOO! sob evil little annoyingly needed things! Stupid near-sightedness.. ahem anyways! I'm obsessed with writing Fan-Fics, Like romance-epics (YEEE! I'm a hopeless romantic. siighhh), and creating generally sugar-induced crazy sit-chee-ay-shuns (yes, SITCHEEAYSHUNS! heehee) for the characters to get out of! LIKE CUCCO CHICKENS ATTACKING! Hai. I know. I'm nuts. ahem All done I s'pose. And, remember kids.. BOUNCING OFF WALLS AND THE MISUSE OF AUTHOR POWERS IS FUN! So naturally, DON'T DO THESE THINGS AT HOME! Go do them things over at your friend's house instead. )

Shadowed Suit:

Name: Uhm.. well.. Shadowed Suit? Shadow if you like. (;;TT) Shadow Jenna O'Brian. :giggle:

Age: Oh, around 16 or so.

Appearance: Almost constantly wears a dark black Power Suit, like Samus's. Though, without it she's pretty normal, brown hair, purple highlights here n' there, green eyes.

Personality: Okay, First of all.. Shadowed Suit is the result of a very unfortunate incident involving a (chibi-)cloning machine. In other words, I went into the machine (I hadn't decided what the said machine should do yet, BY THE WAY) and pushed a button way back in there, spawning thousands of Chibi-Nika-Clones. Who immediately went about pushing every single button on the darn machine, which ended up in them disappearing and a _big_ me-clone _a_ppearing. Whom I named Shadow. Anyways, Shadow's kinda just like me, only, uhm.. hunh. I guess she's more of a twin. (if you don't know who's talking, it's me, Nika! The author? Remember? TT) Only I made her dye her hair a different color, 'cause she's obviously _not_ me. We're the Mistresses of the Smash Club! giggle Which means everyone's kinda a teeeeeennnnsseeeeyyy bit scared of us. ;3 Sillies! Well, Shadow's obsessed with reading and causing trouble. And swimming. And trying to annoy Samus. And stuff. There's also Chibi-Shadow.. A mini-Shadow who's PURE EBIL! EBIL I TELLS YAH! And C-S has very creepy eyes.. And a crush/obsession with Young Link that is extremely strange to me. Oh well. All done!

Takeau:

Name: Takeau Tahi Malinake

Age: around 13-14.

Appearance: He's a red-head, green eyes, black wolf ears and tail, and, uhm.. I guess that's it. Your typical Wolf Demon.. in appearance. (if you don't know what a Wolf Demon is, I'm sorry.. just think of a person with wolf ears and tail. And read at least the first Manga-book of _InuYasha_. Yeah.)

Personality: Spirited, rebellious, irresponsible, hot-tempered occasionally, but mostly laid-back (or he at least _pretends_ to be laid-back) until something gets his attention. He's a character I made for a bit of Bionicle Fan-Fiction Epic-ness, and I pulled him out of the Epic to let him have some fun around the Smash Club, at least 'till I get s'more ideas for his epic or actually make another chapter in the said epic. During battle he wears a pair of gloves that are shaped like wolf-paws, complete with claws, so he can slash opponents. And somehow even with those gloves on he uses a pair of Jurs (Short twin Daggers, oh-kay?) that are enchanted with the fire property. 3 He's quite sensitive about his tail, which often gets stomped on or sometimes shut in doors. Not always on accident either. :glares at all evil Smashers:

Ganon: WHAAAAT!

Bowser: It's not like I stomped that _hard_...!

**Me**: -.-;; see what I mean? Well, anyways. Takeau also has a pair of twin daggers, both enchanted with the Fire element. Well, that's basically it for Takeau.

Raine:

Name: Raine Terri Greenstorm

Age: 13-14

Appearance: Short brown hair, brown eyes, brown mouse ears and tail, and that's 'bout it. Typical mouse demon.

Personality: Shy, quiet, very sweet. Takeau's :-snigger-: _girlfriend_. :collapses into an uncontrollable fit of giggles: S-sorry. Welp, if you couldn't tell, she's from the same Epic as Takeau. giggle She has a pair of Daggers like Takeau's, only smaller and one is enchanted with the element of Electricity, the other with Water. She doesn't talk much to anyone but Takeau and me. Nor does she seem to ever get any inclination to fight anyone.. Oh well! She's such a little sweetheart who could mind?

Bowser: We do.

Ganon: She's _too_ sweet, she's up to something, we know it!

Bowser: _how_ she managed to get everyone on her side even though she's scared stiff at the very _thought_ of talking to them is beyond me!

**Me**: Shut up you two. TT anyways, that's Raine, the sweetest little gal I've made yet::mutter-next-to-that-one-eternally-4-yr-old-girl-I-made-mutter::huggles Raine:

Raine: Uh, uhm, Nika.. It's, ah, getting a little, uhm, hard to breathe..

**Me**: Sowwy Raine. Promise not to do that anymore, I do! Really::lets go of the poor, frantically hyperventilating Mouse Demon:

Okay, that's all the 'special' characters! Whee! DONE! Now on to the comedy!

Narrator: IT WAS A BRIGHT AND SUNNY-

/SFX: BOOMRUMBLEsounds of thunder/

/Scene: Suddenly starts to rain/

Narrator::sopping wet: Oh forget it. :stomps off to find Nika and yell at her for being so annoyingly ironic:

**Me**::whistling innocently: Okay, I've just decided- EPIC 3rd PERSON MODE! Bai!

"YOU TWO HAD BETTER GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE-" A red-headed knight yelled before crashing into a door that had just opened in front of him with enough force that normally would've either broken the door or thrown it back closed. As it was, the person who opened the door had stood against the door and braced it, preventing either from happening.

"Roy, what do you mean by nearly breaking my door down?" Asked the bounty hunter who had opened the door, shutting the said door and tapping her foot impatiently, waiting for a coherent answer.

"Shitari.. Er, well, you see, I was going after Young Link and Ness for stealing me n' Marth's swords, and you opened your door in my face." Roy said awkwardly, looking past the extremely annoyed Samus to see the end of a green cap whip around the corner. Samus stepped to the side and let him pass (Muttering something about '_Boys_' as she did so), thankfully, so Roy continued his madcap chase.

"Samus— Have you— Seen— Mini-Me?" asked a very breathless Link a couple minutes later, looking as if he had just run the whole length of the building.

"Few minutes ago, running that-a-way from a very angry Roy, who nearly knocked down my door when I opened it while he was running down the hall after Ness and Young Link." Samus said calmly, watching as Link groaned and ran the way Samus had pointed. Samus shook her head and rolled her eyes. Young Link sure could get in the worst sorts of trouble sometimes. Just then..

"AIYEEE! RUN FOR THE HILLS! Houston, we have a problem- No! Nika! GET OFF THE CHANDELIER!" Samus winced and looked down through the flooring with her X-Ray Visor. Someone, presumably Nika, was hanging off a light source (obviously the chandelier), holding something else that closely resembled a chain-saw. Samus ran downstairs to see what was going on, along with about 8 other smashers who had gotten the same idea. When she arrived downstairs, the strangest sight since Nika's brothers had come for a visit one day met her eyes.

A teenage girl with blonde hair, blue highlights, green eyes and blue-rimmed glasses (and who had obviously just changed her form to that of a Dog or Wolf Demon from the ears and tail that she now sported) was hanging from the chandelier with a huge chainsaw, which was getting worryingly close to the part of the chandelier that held it to the ceiling.

"Nika you get off that chandelier RIGHT NOW!" a figure in a shadowy black Power Suit was saying angrily, glaring up at Nika. At least, we must presume she was glaring, because you couldn't see her face due to the helmet.

"NOooOOooOOOoO! G'way Shadow! MEANIE!" Nika was saying in an extremely hyper voice indeed, and now she was making the chandelier swing at a rate that, if Nika happened to fail to cut the support with the chainsaw, the chandelier would probably rip away from the ceiling anyways.

"Shitari! What's going on!" Asked Marth, who had been the first on the scene and had just now regained the use of his vocal chords. He was backing away as fast as he dared from the suddenly crazy Nika and the spot where he figured the chandelier would smash down as he said this, hoping not to be smashed.

Shadow sighed and turned towards the growing crowd. "_Some_one managed to smuggle some Coca-Cola in." She said wearily, tilting her head towards the gleaming pile of empty red cans and smushed-up boxes. "This's the result." She added, looking up at her 'sister', of whom she was just a clone.

"COOOKE! YUM! I WANT MORE! Can we go to the store and get s'more! Hunh? Hunh? PLEEEEAAAASSSEEE Shadow!" Nika said, giggling and acting like a 4-yr-old on a steady diet of sweet-n-low. Or even a 4-yr-old who's eaten sweet-n-low steadily for 10 minutes, in retrospect.

"NO! Well, she'll wind down in a couple of hours or so." Shadow said exasperatedly.

"Meanie." Nika pouted, and went back to cutting the support beam.

"AIYEE! NO NIKA! YOU KNOW MUM SAID NO CUTTING DOWN CHANDELIERS!"

"No she didn't!"

"She said no playing with chainsaws, then!"

"No she didn't!"

"What does Kagome say in _InuYasha_ to make Inuyasha crash to the ground again?" Ness hissed to Young Link.

Young Link blinked, wondering what his friend was thinking of. "I think it's-" He said, then shouted; "SIT," -he talked normally again- "But why should that-"

The young troublemaking swordsman was suddenly cut off, however, by a rather large _Thump_.

"Owwwww!" Nika was mumbling, crumpled on the floor with a suddenly deactivating chain saw.

Shadow was laughing. "Nikkaaa, why didn't you tell me mum and dad did that to you?" she teased, helping her still quite hyper sister up.

"Mom did it to me one day when I tried to hold up the Pizza man for all his money. And pizza. Unfortunately I don't have a silly necklace to take off, soo—OH! PIZZA! OHH! SHADOW CAN WE GET PIZZA! HUNH! HUNH? PLEEEAAASSSEE!" Nika said, sullenly at first, then back to hyper-ness at the thought of pizza.

Young Link blinked. "Soooo.. Nika's a Wolf Demon or Dog Demon or whatever?" He said in shock.

Shadow sighed. "Yeppers. But, being an Authoress, she can make herself normal whenever. C'mon, Nika, we'll get pizza then.." She said with an air of defeat.

"PIZZAA! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY-" at this point Shadow had carted Nika off, thankfully cutting off the barrage of 'Yay's.

Roy looked about at the others, who all seemed to be equally shocked and/or scared. Then he suddenly saw Young Link holding on to his sword, which he quickly snatched away from him.

"HEY!" Young Link protested, hopping up and down in an attempt to grab it. Roy promptly thwacked him on the head with the flat of the sword. At least 6 times. Rapidly.

"Roy, I know he's annoying, but isn't that a bit much!" Marth commented, wincing as Young Link fell to the floor (rather hard), obviously knocked unconscious.

"No. By the way, here's your sword, found it in his room."

"I take my previous comment back. Thanks."

"No problem. By the way.. I can still beat you at Mario Kart!"

"No you can't!"

"Yes I can!"

"Prove it!"

"Okay!"

"3,"

"2-1-GO!"

"No fair!"

Shadow's Point Of View (POV)

Meanwhile, I was having a 'bit' of trouble with Nika.

"I WANT A PIZZA WITH EVERYTHING ON IT!" Nika cried out at least a thousand times on the way there.

"No. expletive deleted. Way!" I replied every time—well, after the 15th time anyway. Trust me, I was having enough trouble keeping her from jumping out the window of the car, much less watching my language.

Meanwhile, Nika was having quite a lot of fun singing Christmas tunes, which besides being annoying, were over 4 months out-of-season.

"Have YOURself A MERRY little CHRIIISSSTTTMAAAASSS-" she began for the fiftieth time, at which point I conked her on the head with my arm beam cannon and sighed out of relief, because once Nika was knocked out there was an almost un-natural silence. The only downsides to the silence was that it gave me plenty of time to notice the strange looks the other drivers were giving us and also plenty of time to wonder how the heck I could ever be the exact clone of the little hyper monster-in-disguise next to me, which led me to wondering what'd happen if **I** drank that much soda pop.

Unfortunately, Nika woke up just as we pulled up to the Pizza hut/Taco Bell place. I s'pose that was good news, because I had just realized I couldn't go back to the Smash Club with only one pizza, unless I wanted to be mobbed by Young Link, Yoshi, and Kirby, and in order for us to have enough money for all the pizzas we'd need, I'd need Nika's nice Authoress Powers to create the money. Also unfortunately, Nika woke up furious with me.

"MEANIE!" she cried, beating her fists ineffectively against my power suit.

"Come on Nika, you've gotta admit... It's nearly July... Christmas songs are OUT OF SEASON! And have been for like 6 seasons!" I pleaded. "And now, because unless you want Young Link, Kirby, Yoshi, and everyone else at our necks, I need you to make enough money for a heckuva lotta pizza."

"Allllriiiiiggghhhhhtttt." Nika said sullenly after looking as if she was wondering how much a pack of smashers could hurt one girl.

"Good girl! I'll, uh, get you some candy later." I said, wincing and hoping Nika didn't have an identical problem with the amount of sugar in a Hershey's bar.

"YEAAAHHH! OKAY!" Nika said, brightening and hopping up and down in the seat. Almost instantly a wad of 20's appeared on the dash, and I grabbed it with a sigh of relief. I certainly hoped that Nika's hyper-ness would wear off soon.

"GO GET PIZZA GO GET PIZZA GO GET PIZZA!" Nika was chanting, and I quickly pushed a button on my suit, making my suit quickly fold up into a bracelet, which I put securely on my wrist. I did that because the _last_ time I went into a store with my power suit on, I was instantly mobbed by a pack of Nintendo fan-kids, and SOMEone called the national guard. Which of course created a fiasco nobody liked to remember and everyone was forbidden to speak of.

"Alright already, let me call the smashers and figure out what they want, oh-kay!" I said exasperatedly.

"... I think they want ONE BAGILLION PIZZA'S WITH EVERYTHING ON THEM!" Nika said in a superior tone of voice with a small smug nod. I groaned, shaking my head.

"... No. Just, no. Shut up." I replied, pulling out my cell phone and dialing the Smash Club number.

_Ringgg..._

_Riii-_

"Hello, Smash Club, may I ask who's speaking?" enquired the familiar voice of Link.

"Hey, Link. It's me, Shadow. Figure out what everyone wants for pizza. And before you ask, yeah, Nika's still a pain." I replied, smacking Nika for attempting to steal my bracelet.

"Alright. One sec." Link said as Nika's eyes began to fill up with tears, and I could barely hear him shout, "HEY GUYS! GET DOWN HERE! PIZZA TIME! ANYONE WHO DOESN'T COME DOESN'T GET LUNCH!"

A pause, then..

"You have Nika with you, right?"

"of course." I replied sadly as I reached into the back of the truck to find something to shut Nika up; she was crying now, claiming that I had mortally wounded her—or something like that.

"good, 'cause you're gonna need a heckuva lotta money. Here's everyone's orders:

Kirby wants 10 large pepperoni pizzas,

I want a medium Veggie Lovers pizza,

Yoshi wants.. Okay, ditto of Kirby's order,

Mini-Me here— OW! (_"Don't compare me to some freakish dude in some wacko movie!"_)— Okay, _Young Link_ here wants a small Veggie Lovers (— No, look, kid, you can't eat a medium—) anyways,

Samus wants a large pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust,

Peach wants a medium cheese pizza,

Zellie-- OW! Alright already!-- _Zelda_ wants a large stuffed-crust double-cheese cheese pizza-- gee, do you really like cheese that muc- OW!--" At this point Link stopped talking and Peach took over. Apparently Peach had knocked Link out for making so many mistakes.

"Hiiii Shadowww!

Annnd the Ice Climbers both just want cold pizza of any kind, so get a pizza and stick it in a cooler,

Ganny here wants the Meat Lovers- EWW! ... :_WHAM::clatter:_ ...ow.." Here Zelda took over, and at this point I had filled up one page of Nika's notebook just writing down the orders.

"Hi! Anyways,

Mr. Game N' Watch here wants Sausage,

Bowser wants what Ganon's having," and seeing as you're probably bored already ((Author's note: and my brain is starting to feel like a wrung-out sponge already from thinking up what each character would want)) I'll just say that it took me two pieces of paper to write it all down and 4 smashers to get all the orders out to me.  
Finally it was over, and me and Nika (who I had persuaded to turn into a small black cat-with-pink-wings-ish thing just to be safe) went in, finally.

"Welcome to Pizza Hut/Taco Bell, how may I help you?" asked a very bored-looking 16-yr-old girl behind the counter.

"Okay, let's see here. I neeeeddd.. hrmm. One two, twenty- okay, 46 pizzas." I said with a sigh, adding up all the pizzas, which included mine and Nika's. (Here's a math problem for yah: 26 smashers plus 2 girls. 2 smashers want 10 pizzas each, the rest just want one. Is my calculation right? Wrong? REVIEW AND TELL ME! P) The girl's eyes instantly began to widen to the size of, well, pizzas.

"F-Fourty-six!" she sputtered, looking at me and Nika, who was still a cat. Thankfully Nika wasn't facing me, so the girl couldn't see the pink wings. "F-For just you and a cat!"

"Well, uhm, not quite.." I said, feeling my face turn red. "Everyone's back home right now, you see-"

Suddenly, a certain purple cat Pokemon and green-clad swordsman appeared. I groaned.

"Liiink, Mewtwo, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TELEPORTING INTO PUBLIC RESTAURANTS AND OTHER SUCH PLACES!" I screeched at them, my temper snapping like an extremely brittle and very thin twig.

"Well, _SOME_one needed to tell you that Kirby decided he wanted five of his 10 pizzas to be sausage instead of pepperoni!" Link protested. Mewtwo nodded.

"So call me on my cell next time, nut." I pointed out. Both Mewtwo and Link looked at each other sheepishly. Obviously neither had thought of _that_.

"NOW SHOO!" I groaned, aiming a kick at Link just as he and Mewtwo teleported away. "Err, sorry about that." I added, glancing at the near-fainting employee, as well as the quite shocked customers. "Right, well, I need.." I continued, reading off the list of orders.

"Soo, you live over at the Smash Club?" The employee (whose name was Jean) asked as me and Nika waited for our order, which we were told 'might' take a 'while'. Jean, as it turned out, was quite the Nintendo fan.

I nodded. "Yeah, kinda crazy sometimes. Today's been craziest though, Nika here somehow got a couple 12-packs of coke and drank every bit of 'em." I said wearily, glaring at Nika, who stuck her tongue out at me and then turned away with feline disdain.

"Sugar rush?"

"Major sugar rush. She jumped onto a chandelier and nearly cut it off of the ceiling."

"This cat!"

"Yeah, well-" I began, still puzzling over how to explain, when Nika saved me the trouble by disobeying me and turning back 'normal'.

"I'M NOT A CAT!" she said, stomping her foot childishly. Jean's eyes widened again.

"This's Nika. Now go back to being a cat! What did I tell you in the car!"

Nika sighed. "You said, 'Don't go back to normal in there, because you'll SCARE PEOPLE!' ..BOO!" she repeated gloomily, then turned back into a cat.

"Stupid Hyper Shape-shifting Demon Authoresses.." I groaned, adding a few well-chosen curses under my breath.

"... Well, uhm, I think your pizzas are done." Jean said, looking cautiously over at Nika.

"Oh, yeah, thanks! By the way, you can come over to the Smash Club any time you like. Just be careful to avoid, you know, Ganon and Bowser and ect. Bye!" I said as cheerfully as I could manage while carrying 46 pizza boxes.

"Err- need some help!" Jean asked, tilting her head to the side to see past the boxes.

"Gee, you think?" I replied sarcastically, which got me a few other employees, who quickly helped me get them out to the black Dodge Ram. ((A/N: don't ask _me_ why it's black! However, I will tell you why the Dodge Ram. I like 'em. My dad owns one. I like it. It's green. I'm done.)) After that it was just a matter of strapping the pizzas securely in (which was managed with a heckuva lotta rope, which thankfully I already had) and driving out of there.

"ahem.. MEANIE!" Nika said as she buckled up (having gone back to being a human again), continuing her argument.

"Sure, whatever. C'mon. It's a good thing we left at 10 AM, 'cause it's nearly 12 now and I'm sure the Smashers won't thank us for the wait." I said with a roll of the eyes, switching my bracelet back to Power Suit-ness.

3rd person view, back to Smash Club

"Where's Shaddddoooowwww!" Asked a very hungry Young Link for the fifth time in a row.

"GETTING OUR FOURTY-SIX PIZZAS!" Link roared, wondering whether killing Young Link would be considered suicide or murder. He had just decided most likely 'both', when..

"WE'REE BAAACKKK!" Shadow was back, to state the over-obvious. Almost instantly Yoshi and Kirby came and nearly knocked over Nika and Shadow, who were both carrying 23 pizzas each.

"GETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWWAAYYY! OR I'LL GO ONTO THE CHANDELIER WITH THESE!" Nika shrieked, and the pink puffball and tiny green dinosaur rushed off just as quickly as they had rushed over, not grasping the fact that Nika, with an armful of pizzas, couldn't _possibly_ get on top of the chandelier again, seeing as she could barely even carry the pizzas.

A few seconds later everyone was sitting at the very _large_ round table eating their pizzas hungrily.

"So, is Nika safe yet?" Link whispered to Shadow, hoping her temper had cooled.

"Almost." Shadow somehow said with her mouth full of triple-pepperoni stuffed-crust pizza, glaring at Nika, who was calmly eating her own pizza. "Who _did_ smuggle in the pop anyway?" she added, turning towards Link.

Link shrugged. "I don't know. You know the likely suspects, of course. Young Link, Kirby, Yoshi, and ect." he said, looking about the table.

Shadow laughed. "Oh, I dunno. If it wasn't for the fact nobody knew that Nika goes into it's-like-she-swallowed-2-packs-of-sweet-n-low-whole mode whenever she has more than 3-4 Cokes I'd say it was like Ganon, Bowser, Ness, or like you said, Chibi-you." Shadow said calmly, turning to face Nika. "Hey, Nika, have you told-" she started, but ended up laughing. Where Nika used to be was the large black cat again, curled up and quite obviously asleep.

"What's so funny!" Asked about 20 very curious voices.

"Nothing. Nika's sugar rush has worn off though. Be right back." Shadow said, still chuckling as she picked up Nika and carried her off in the direction of the stairs.

All the smashers shrugged, muttered their relief that there most likely be any 'chandelier' episodes, and went back to their pizzas.

Welllll? What d'you think of my first chapty-er! HUNH! HUNH! ahem Sorry. Little excited. Yeah. I wuv my story.. Anyways, yeah.. If you're wondering why I'm acting so crazy.. REMEMBER I'VE JUST DRUNK LIKE 36 COCA-COLA CANS! -.- I was on such a sugar rush it's a miracle I didn't start chasing _smashers_ with that chainsaw instead of _chandeliers_... Oh, and.. The idea of going-hyper-after-the-fourth-coke came from.. I DON'T REMEMBER! _I_ certainly don't do that in real life. (at least I don't think I do. Never drunk more than 2 cans of coke at any given time..) Neither does anyone else I know. Oo;; Hai, it's freaky!

Anyways, Seiya (who I'm pretty certain doesn't post 'round here) gave me the idea of being on top of a chandelier with a chain-saw. Because she did it in one of her comedies. And in her comedies and epics she's a dog demon. (Bionicle epics! So g'way!)

And yeah. I'm certain it's spelled CHAN-DE-LIER. I looked it up in the dictionary! (I know, people _say_ you can't look something up in a dictionary if you can't spell it, but you _can_ if you know the basic definition _and_ the first few letters! HAH!) anyways. Hope you liked it. 3 alsooo.. NO FLAMING OR SPAMMING! Or else I shall use my newest weapon in my growing arsenal of Flamer/Spammer-killing weapons—THE SWEET-N-LOW DISPENSER! holding an over-large gun Let me demonstrate.

/Scene: small fairy tied to a large chunk of wood/

:BOOM::The fairy, upon impact of the yucky-over-sweet-missile, is instantly incoherent and hyper, and will be so for 7 days! Poooor fairy.. :( sowwy wittle faiwy:

So, please review, and come back next time, oh-kay? (oh, right.. I'm going to try to do around 2 chappies a week, okay? Maybe more, maybe down to one a week, I dunno. Depends on how fast I can get ideas. and how fast I can get my brothers to come up with COHERENT NAMES for their debut in chappy 4.x3 Yep. so BAIIIII!)


	2. Chapter 2: OOOOH! Mini Things!

AIYYYEEEEE! A REVIEW A REVIEW A REVIEEEEWWWW! ... Why, it's Teal! ('o' ) WOW! -huggles Teal- Thanky-you! Hehe.. yeah.. That chapter _was_ pretty crazy, hunh? -giggle- It was so much _fun_ doing a hyper chapter though! Hyper people make for great characters! Because they're hyper and unpredictable, which means I can make them do whatever I want. Even jumping onto chandeliers. Mwuahaha. Anyways.. -heehee- I'm so happy that I got a review, I shall put up this chapter! And then I shall get back to figuring out the battle for the next chapter.. mehhh.. I suck at writing out battles. ;-; anyways! HERE YOU GO! (and, by the way, I wouldn't use the sweet-n-low cannon/dispenser on you! Not unless... not unless you flamed me! MEEP! I DON'T WANNA BUURNN! BAD FLAMES! ;-;)

--Chapter 2: OOOH! Mini-things!--

Young Link got up cheerfully, springing out of bed and checking off another day on his calendar, then turning to a checklist on the wall.

"Let's see," he said with a grin, "I've annoyed everyone except Ganon, Bowser, Big-Me, Raine, Pikachu, and the Girls this week." Yes, Young Link kept a checklist of who he annoyed. He rarely annoyed people in the order he had put them up, but it was useful to know who was still ticked off at him from yesterday and whatnot so that he didn't end up in _serious_ trouble. Like the time he annoyed Samus twice in one day. Young Link winced as he remembered the pain of being stunned by wave beam, thrown off the roof of the Smash Club, burnt (to this day Young Link is certain he invented 4th and 5th degree burns that time), frozen, hit with a charged power beam, Missle'd, then, to top it all off, when he hit the ground he landed on a morph ball bomb.

As soon as he could safely move again he created the list of people he'd annoyed, which Nika had helped him with, because, as she put it, 'The couple of weeks where I had to take over for you as troublemaker, plus my normal 'jobs', were rather tiring'. Due to the fact that Nika had helped, the list wiped itself clean of checkmarks and names of days every Sunday night. (except in the case of Raine, whose column had a spot for the name of the month too. Hers was wiped clean every month.)

Why Raine's was only once a month was because of the obvious fact that if he played a joke on Raine more than once a month, (at the very **least**) Takeau would be after him faster than you could say 'Mini-Hyrulian-Hero-of-Time'. And having an over-protective (equipped-with-super-claws-of-DEWM-and-really-pointy-Daggers) demon after you certainly ain't fun.

Young Link grinned to himself again and, after getting dressed (and lemme tell yah, all those identical green outfits in his closet makes the closet an eyesore), rushed/'sneaked' off to bug Pikachu, humming the 'Mission: Impossible' theme song and pretending to hold a gun in one hand. If all spies did as good a job as Young Link at sneaking, welllllll..

We'd still be stuck in World War 1. Or maybe the revolutionary war, or any other war where any country used spies that you can name. Any of 'em. We'd be stuck there, wondering why our spies failed so much and recruiting spy after spy after spy after... well, you get the picture. We'd recruit spies until we finally gave up on them in dismay, and then we'd settle down to be constantly surprise-attacked.

However, his roundabout route led him right past Roy's room, and he couldn't help but grin and attempt to steal Roy's sword yet again.

I say attempt because the instant Young Link entered the room he screamed and left as quick as possible. Now you're wondering what scared him, eh? Roy was wondering as well, having immediately woken up at the scream. (You'd have to be a pretty _darn_ deep sleeper to _not_ wake up when someone screams loudly in the vicinity) He was about to find out. (:giggle: MINI-CLIFFY!)

Shrugging as he looked about and saw nothing out of the ordinary, Roy hopped out of bed, wondering if Nika had decided to make everything in the Smash Club giant again and shuddering at the memory of _that_ April Fools day. The memory of April Fools day made Roy check the calendar, therefore stalling the moment where he figured out what was wrong. Nope, it was June 29th, not at all near April Fools. So Roy immediately went over to his mirror. What _he_ saw made him scream as well. Nika hadn't enlarged everything.

He had shrunk.

Shrunk to the size of a five-year-old, to be exact.

Roy stopped screaming at last to catch his breath, still staring in disbelief at the reflection in the mirror. '_What's Nika up to now anyway!_' he wondered, shaking his head and struggling with the doorknob to go find Marth. If Marth would stop laughing long enough after seeing him, maybe he could help.

Unfortunately, there was just one tiny, literally _tiny_ problem with that, as other screams rang through the air.

Roy rushed over to his friend's room and attempted to open the door, however, it was locked. Seeing as he needed to jump up and hang on for dear life to the handle just to turn it, this annoyed him more than usual. So the now-chibi red-haired mamkute (Half-human half-dragon, picked that up from other fics, don't blame me) Knight kicked and banged on the door very rapidly with both fists instead, yelling "get up and open the darn door already!"

Marth quickly opened the door and came out, shutting it hastily behind him. He was just as small as Roy was.

Marth groaned. "You too, huh?"

"Yep. Wonder how many other people got shrunk?" Roy said, looking around curiously, then laughing. "Let's go see Young Link. If he's shrunk, maybe this won't be so bad after all."

Marth grinned and followed his friend, meeting up with various other smashers along the way, all of whom appeared to be shrunk—Except for most of the Pokemon, who were normal, being already small enough. Peach and Zelda couldn't help giggling over Mewtwo's new tiny-ness though, and Bowser, DK and Ganon were seriously hilarious, even if no-one dared to laugh at _them_. Especially not after they laughed at each other and ended up fighting until Peach and Zelda seperated them. The sight of how badly they had beaten each other up put any thoughts of teasing out of everyone's mind.

"Up next's Samus's room." Roy whispered to Marth, teasing him with a jab of the elbow and a wink. Marth turned a light shade of pink and pretended to be momentarily deaf, finding an abnormal amount of interest in the ceiling. They all knocked on the door, and Fox stood on Falco's shoulders to attempt to open the door. It was locked.

"Saaamusss, come outttt!" Fox yelled just as he and Falco fell over.

Samus peered out. Well, actually, she didn't look like Samus at all, being a bright blue-eyed kid with gleaming gold hair. But still, the fact she had an over-large "beam gun" sort of helped.

"Shall we go get Young Link, then?" Zelda suggested as Samus whacked Captian Falcon around the head with the gun. Apparently he had voiced his disbelief that Samus was, well, Samus.

Samus nodded, looking unusually furious for an apparent five-year-old with short blonde hair and bright blue eyes. "Nika and Shadow have got a heckuva lotta explaining to do!" she exclaimed, shaking her head as they all went to get Young Link, Mewtwo using his Psychic powers to drag the unconscious Cpt. Falcon along.

"Link! What're we going to do, you're identical to Young Link now!" Zelda suddenly exclaimed, looking worriedly over at the Hero of Time.

Link groaned. "Oh geez.. I'll be right back. Let me see if any of my blue outfits are small enough now." Link said exasperatedly to the Hylian princess, who quickly went about explaining where Link had gone off to.

Meanwhile, Young Link was trying his best to keep himself from laughing long enough to hear everyone's explanations and to figure out where they were going. Sure, there was the fact that he had shrunk a bit too, (which he hadn't noticed, being rather small for his age) but seeing everyone else so small—_especially_ 'Adult' Link in his blue outfit!—was too much. Zelda sighed as she explained yet again where they were going.

"We're going to find Nika or Shadow."

"And give them a beating to remember." Samus added grimly. Zelda sighed.

"And possibly that too."

Unfortunately, there was one hitch...

"WHAT THE!" "Shitari!" "Oh My Goddesses!" "expletive deleted"

Apparently the Chibi-Curse, as the smashers had decided to call it, had struck the whole house, not just the smashers.

Which meant there was now a Chibi-Nika and Chibi-Shadowed Suit. The former was bouncing off the walls, _literally_, whilst the latter was sitting in the middle of the room, shaking her head and sighing.

"Nika, I'm never going to trust that you've drank every bit of pop in the household again without _searching_ the household first. Seriously, you should be ashamed of yoursel—Oh, hi guys and gals. Come to join the party?" Said Shadow wearily.

Young Link, for a crazed second thinking Shadow was Chibi-Shadow (the one without a helmet and creepy eyes, I mean), shrieked and fell to the ground, unconcious from shock.

Shadow sighed. "Remind me to tell one of you to inform Young Link that Chibi-me has disappeared (most likely shrunk until she vanished completely, being about four or five already) when mini-mini-Link here gets up." She said before reaching out and catching Nika by the foot just as she bounced overhead.

"LEMME GO LEMME GO LEMME-" Nika began, but stopped when she got smacked with a miniature beam cannon over the head. (By the way, Shadow apparently never takes off her suit, because she was still wearing it.. I guess it had shrunk with her? That's a scary thought. No more thoughts. None. Nada. Zilch.)

"Thankfully when she comes back to conciousness she _should_ be normal again. So anyways. Everyone's shrunk **slightly**, I presume?" Shadow said after making sure Nika wasn't killed by the hard blow to the head.

"Anddd the award for the understatement of the year goes to.. SHADOW!" Falco said crossly.

"Yeah yeah, alright."

"Why'd Nika shrink us all anyway!" Ganon demanded. Shadow sighed.

"She didn't do it. Never had time or enough focus to. She apparently hid a few _Twenty-four packs_ of coke in her room and drank them all 'round 10 PM when presumably everyone was asleep 'sept me. You're all awful deep sleepers, she was running around the house going nutso all night." Shadow groaned.

"Then who did it?" Roy asked, looking around as if expecting some dark mysterious figure to suddenly appear and cry out 'IT WAS ME!'

"I dunno. He's (or **she's**) going to really catch it when we do find out though, I presume." Shadow said, looking at the small (_literally!_ giggle) mob with a hidden smirk at the thought of whomever it was 'catching it'.

Then Nika got up, blinking. "What'd I miss?" she asked, looking about at the smashers with a grin.

"Oh good, you're un-hypered."

"Hyper?"

"What else do you call running around the house all night going nuts?"

"Insomnia with a bad case of awake-nightmares?"

"Try coke with a bad case of sugar rush."

Nika grumbled something about 'I don't mean to go hyper' before noticing the now Chibi-Roy.

"...CHIBI-MAMKUTE! KAWAIIIII!" Nika squealed, tackling and holding onto the poor red-headed swordsman with a death-grip.

"YAHHH! HELLLLP! SHE'S GONE MENTAL!" Roy yelped, running around in circles and trying to get rid of Nika.

Shadow groaned. "Did I mention she has a horrible infatuation with chibi-things? Especially certain swordsmen, I'm afraid.." she said exasperatedly, attempting to catch Nika and tear her off of the poor Roy, who was going a heckuva lot slower now that Nika was starting to cut off his oxygen intake. Link also chased after them, only with his sword. Apon hearing the fact that Nika liked Chibi-ish things immensely, he immediately thought that Nika had done it, regardless of how hyper she had been. Just as Shadow pried Nika off of the now hyperventilating Roy, Link rushed at Nika, who screamed and tore herself out of Shadow's clutches, running around in circles with both Link and Shadow on her tail.

The amazing thing was, she was wearing a skirt too, which meant that her speed must've set a new world record for running-around-with-crazed-swordsmen-maniacs-after-you-in-a-skirt. just so's you know, this was Nika's appearance: blue denim skirt (the kind that nearly covered your feet, but thankfully she had regular jeans under it, otherwise hopping about off of walls'd be embarrasing), pink shirt with a sparkly gold quill on it with the word 'Authoress' under the quill, Dog-demon ears and tail, her usual blonde hair, blue glasses, and, surprisingly, black highlights today.

"GET BACK HERE YOU!" Link shouted, while Shadow tried futilely to catch the two and separate them.

"Wait.. what am I doing, running from the runt with the sword?" Nika suddenly muttered to herself, screeching to a stop and turning around, looking furious but still smiling sweetly.

"Uh-oh.." most of the other smashers murmured. They knew that look, and it meant nothing but trouble.

"LINK YOU PUT DOWN THAT SWORD RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR, GODDESSES HELP ME, I SHALL SUMMON UP THE FANGIRLS OF-" Nika began heatedly, glaring daggers at the now retreating blue-clad swordsman. (Nika, from having dealt with the smashers so long, had picked up quite a few of their phrases.)

"NOO! NOT THE FANGIRLS! ANYTHING ELSE!" Link yelped, interrupting Nika's dramatic sentence. So Nika summoned up something else instead- about 10 very angry cucco-birds (_Chickens_ in Legend of Zellie, silly! giggle), who proceeded to chase Link about while Nika collapsed into a fit of giggles. "AHH! NO CUCCOS EITHERRR! HELLLPPP!" Link yelled, running and screaming while the Cuccos pecked him.

"Tsk tsk tsk, shoulda said that before!" Nika managed to say between giggles, making the Cuccos vanish, because of course Link had to drop his sword to run all-out properly.

"No.. more.. bloody... CUCCOS!" Link gasped before collapsing on the floor.

"Why's he so hyped up about chickens, anyway?" Shadow asked as she made sure Link hadn't killed himself by running too long, eyebrow raised. (but of course no-one could see that.)

"You saw what they do with him." Zelda said, rolling her eyes. "But, Nika, how'd you know that they..?"

"Well, you see, it happened one day back at my house that, well, one of my brother's friend's came over while I was playing Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time. Annnnd, I was in Kakariko village, with all the Cuccos, you know, and then my bro's friend Luke says, 'ATTACK THE CHICKEN ATTACK THE CHICKEN!' Well, I knew from other games Cuccos are invincible, so I was like, 'Nah, it won't do nothin.' And he was like, 'yes it will! CHOP IT UP!' so I was like, 'okaaaay' and I attacked the Cucco a few times and it called up friends and killed me lickety-split." Nika said cheerfully. "I did it quite a few times after that whenever I got stuck and was frustrated."

"O-o-o-kayyyy. You're weird, Nika." Young Link said, having finally reawoken and explained to that Shadowed Suit wasn't Chibi-Shadow, after which he learned that C-S was probably gone for good, at which point he practically bounced off the walls himself.

Nika merely nodded, grinning. "Annyyyywayyyys, what'll we do now?" she said, calmly going through her hair with a comb, seeing as it was in a positively horrid state after a night of bouncing around the house, breaking every glass vase and ect, plus bouncing off walls and being chased by Link didn't help.

"Well, here's a bright idea no-one's thought of—HOW'S ABOUT WE FIGURE OUT WHO DID THIS!" Samus said irritably.

Nika laughed. "1 point to Samus! Smashers, 1, us, 2!"

"How the heck did you two get two points!" asked Ness confusedly.

"Because _I'm_ an Authoress and _Shadow_ is an Authoress' clone. So we automatically get points for being ourselves." Nika said smugly.

"Then we should, naturally, get like 25-26 points!"

"Nah, you're just smashers. Nuttin special." Nika replied stubbornly, and that was that, because Nika was starting to look michevous again.

"_Baka_." Marth muttered under his breath, and Roy hid a laugh.

"_WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!_" Nika asked, chasing Marth around the room. Shadow sighed, shaking her head sadly.

"Well, while this's.. _amusing_, we all really need to get a-going. Nika, leave the poor princeling alone and let's go already!" Shadow said calmly, grabbing onto Nika's tail and dragging her out of the room.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. OW! D'we HAVE to go upstairs?" Nika shrieked before losing the ears and tail as she was dragged upstairs by her clone. Dragged upstairs by her tail, to be exact.

"Yeah. We need to figure out how Takeau and Raine took this. Aren't you interested in your own creations?" Shadow said impaitently.

Nika smiled sweetly before kicking Shadow. "Yeah, but not when I have to be dragged by my tail up the stairs!" she said calmly, smoothing out the wrinkles in her skirt serenly and doing a pretty good impression of the stuck-up little girly-girl Princess Peach. (ahem Just so's you know, I have _nothing_ against Peachie-chan except for the fact that she's too, err, 'girly'. Heck, if _I_ was a princess, I wouldn't just sit around until some idiotic overgrown turtle/hedgehog thing kidnaps me! But yeah. My bro 'suggested forcefully' that I put that little bit in. So there. TT glares at brother ARE YAH HAPPY! HUNH! NOW LET GO OF MY ARMS! Owowowwowowowow..)

Unfortunately, Takeau and Raine seemed to have gone missing. They investigated both rooms (Takeau's had a lot of red, orange, and black in it, making it an eyesore to everyone but the Pyromaniacs, Raine's room, on the other hand, had lots of tranquil blues, greens, and purples.) and found nothing.

Suddenly.. "Oops, forgot.." Nika said, blushing and looking very uncomfortable as everyone turned towards her. "I wrote another chapter in their story. Hunh, never knew _that's _what happened to characters I brought into the real world when I wrote about them again.. They must've disappeared because I needed them in their own world.."

Shadow groaned. "Nika, you are an absolute _baka_."

"HEY! Am not. You're worse sometimes."

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!" (GO COPY AND PASTE! xD .. and GO CAPS LOCK TOO!)

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

"—Whillleee this's a LOVELY conversation, shouldn't we be getting on with our search?" Peach said delicately, seperating the two sisters, who were getting quite close to a brawl just then.

"Oh alright." Nika said huffily. "So, first, we need to find out who's missing! 'cause no villan in his right mind just goes and hangs out with the people he just cursed, then anyone could figure it out, 'cause he'd stick out too much, seeing as no villian in his right mind would curse _himself_." This earned Nika a few nasty glares from the villans, which she serenely ignored.

As it turned out, it seemed everyone was there.

"Mr. G-n-M?"

"**BEEP!**"

"Well, yeah, sorry, but your name's a mouthful and a half. Kirby?"

"Poyo!"

"Mini-and-Un-Mini- Links?"

"**_Double Here!_**"

"Mewtwo? Oh nevermind. Everyone's here aren't they?" Nika said exasperatedly.

"Wait a sec. What about the Hands?" Falco suddenly piped up, and everyone started asking everyone else if he/she had seen them. Apparently no-one had for weeks, possibly even up to a month. Maybe, just _maybe_, two.

"Well then, until further evidence, our top suspects are the gloved ones." Nika said, making her voice sound like some sort of detective in some mystery movie. (And she pronounced 'gloved' as 'Gluh-veh-d'. Like saying 'winged' as 'wing-ehd' instead of just 'wing'd'... Oh I give up. ;;)

"NO! I thought for SURE the top suspect was gonna be you, Nika!" Shadow said sarcastically.

Nika merely turned into the pink-winged cat again to better ignore Shadow. Thankfully she could still talk. "So, anyways, as I was about to say before Miss-Sarcasm-101 here interrupted me, we should go to wherever those two stay." She said, managing a cat-like grace as she said it which somehow helped the absurdity of what she was implying—Breaking into the two second-most feared creatures in the entire place (and the most feared in the _history_ of the place, seeing as Shadow and Nika had only arrived a few months ago.).

Unfortunately, nobody seemed to know where they stayed either.

"How in the world," Ganon(-_DORK! _giggle) began angrily, "Can all of us live here and STILL not know where other smashers live!"

"Well, seeing as they're technically not 'smashers'.." Kirby said with the help of Ness. ('cause he can't talk normally, SILLY! At least not in THIS comedy. Meh.)

Nika groaned and started to somehow open doors. "They've gotta be up here _some_where! There's like NOWHERE else they could be!"

"So this house really _does_ only have two upper-floors?" Falco inquired.

"Yeah, as far as me and Shadow know, because we've never found any staircases leading up into a third floor, and it'd really be a mystery if it _did_ exist, because from the outside of this place you can only _see_ two!" Nika said irritably.

"What about an attic?" Mewtwo suggested.

Nika blinked and turned around to look curiously at the genetic cat Pokemon, her confused blink all the more noticable because, as a cat, she had rather large eyes. "I... I hadn't thought of that." She said, mortified.

"Well, we've got a basement, shouldn't we have an attic too?" Captain Falcon suggested.

"Well, _tech_nically..." Mr. Game n' Watch said, with the help of Mewtwo.

So they split up and started checking every door. Unfortunately, as Nana and Popo found out (Because Nana told Popo it was a broom closet behind _that_ door, and Popo wanted to see for himself), the doors were random. Very random.

"**NIKA NIKA NIKA!**" they both yelped, standing in front of a door that two seconds ago had been a broom closet and now opened to Shadow's room, "**There's something wrong with the doors!**"

All the smashers rushed over, and after letting them all see the original destination, they opened and shut the door again. It opened to a broom closet again, only, as Nana put it, 'That mop and bucket wasn't there when I originally opened it, and the broom's gone missing'. They did it again and found Takeau's room.

"Oh great," Nika groaned, "It's a good thing there's 28 doors. I think whoever made this place originally either meant to get another 28 smashers or had thought you guys and a couple other smashers would be up here. EVERYONE TAKE A DOOR! MOVE OUT TROOPS! By Din, we'll find whatever it is those stupid gloves-with-attitude don't want us to find, or I'm a Cucco-bird!"

So everyone took a door and started to open and close it. Roy, who rarely liked to be doing any one thing for more than 5 minutes (other than reading or videogames, of course), soon found himself just opening and shutting the door boredly without really looking at the destinations he opened the door to.

_Slam_.

A broom cupboard.

_Slam_.

Shadow's room.

_Slam_.

A bare closet.

_Slam._

Takeau's room.

_Slam_.

Raine's room.

_Slam_.

A broom cupboard.

_Slam_.

A bathroom?

_Slam_.

A stairway... Wait. A stairway!

Roy stopped shutting the door just as he almost slammed it again. It was a very near miss. "HEY GUYS! I THINK I FOUND IT!" Roy yelled elatedly.

Everyone cheered and rushed over, apparently all but the exceptionally patient had been just as bored as Roy was.

"Well, who wants to go up first?" Young Link asked mischevously. Nobody spoke, until..

"Oh for _Heavens Sake_! Or Shitari, or whichever other language you'd like! Cowards! I'll go up. Sheesh!" Nika said crossly, immediately walking in gracefully, still in the cat form.

Every one of the smashers glared at each other (the villans then immediately glaring furiously at Nika) then followed, certainly more carefully than Nika, who was singing to herself as she climbed the winding staircase.

"naaaa-na-na-na-na,

na-na-na-na

na-na-na

na-na-naaa

na-na-na-naaaa

HEY!" she hummed, jumping up the stairs two at a time.

"It just.. had.. to.. be.. a.. WINDING.. STAIRCASE!" Bowser panted angrily.

Nika turned to see that everyone was starting to lag behind. "Tsk tsk, what's wrong with a _winding_ staircase? Would it be better as a ladder?" she said calmly, tail wrapped around her legs as she waited paitently for someone to catch up. "It's only been, what, 400 steps?"

Everyone's jaw dropped.

"F-**_FOUR HUNDRED_**!" Fox said in disbelief.

"Yes. I've been counting." Nika said delicately.

"But- that's not.. Nika, it _can'tve_ been 400!" Falco said, shaking his head.

"What, are you saying I can't count!" Nika asked angrily.

"No.. But.. There isn't enough ROOM! Even if there _was_ an attic, it shouldn't be more than 50 steps up at _most_!"

Nika sniffed. "So? This _is_ a very strange house. Let's keep going." She said, jumping up the stairs again.

All the smashers groaned then followed the precocious Cat-slash-very-hyper-chibi-loving-dog-demon-slash-authoress, wondering when the torture would end.

Thankfully, it ended 15 very agonizing minutes later, when Nika yelled back, "Hey, there's a door up here!". Everyone immediately doubled their original pace and got up to where Nika was in a hurry, breathless but glad to be at the top of the stairs. Nobody moved (much.. c'mon, they're all gasping for breath here!) after that, glancing at each other worriedly. What _was_ behind the door that supposedly shouldn't exist, seeing as it was architecturely impossible?

---

MWUAHAHAHA! CLIFFY! If you must know.. Shitari means 'Good Heavens!' or somethin like that. Once again I must thankie suteki.nu/translator.. 3 I'll never find another even half-as-useful English-Japanese Romanji translator! now then.. CHIBI-NESS! YAY! Why I thought this up is beyond me. I'm in random-mode right now.. CHIBI'S! YEE! MRWEEE!

Samus: EVERYBODY RUN! SHE'S GONE NUTSO!

**Me**: x3 -holding on tightly to Roy, Marth, and Link all at once somehow- Chiiibiiii..

Zelda: Now now, Nika, let go of the poor swordsmen--

**Me**: NEVERRRR! Oh yeah. Forgot one. -chases down a white robotic figure and clings to him too- NOW G'WAY! MINNNE!

Mewtwo: -sigh- Don't worry, we'll calm her down before next chapter. TROOPS! ASSEMBLE! FALL OUT, ABOUT FACE, ABOUT FACE, FORWARD MARCH, And all that jazz! ATTAAAAACKKKK!...

**Me**: Wait one sec! I need to do the ending! Anyways.. what's behind the mysterious door?

WILL ANYONE EVER BE NORMAL AGAIN! (not if I can help it! x) ... Oh, you mean unchibified? Maybe..)

WHY IS THERE A WEIRD IMPOSSIBLE DOOR UP WHERE THERE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE _ANYTHING BUT A ROOF OR JUST PLAIN NUTTIN'_ ANYWAY?

Tune in next time for possibly the answers to these questions! And remember kids—CHIBI'S ARE FUN! SO SHRINK YOURSELF TODAY FOR ONLY—

-KRRRSHKKKTTT- -BEEEPPPP- -cue multi-colored no-signal screen-


End file.
